Of all the moral plagues of society, selfishness seems the most difficult to eradicate; it is all the more so because it is sustained by the very habits of education. It seems that it is a task to excite, from the cradle, certain passions which later become second nature, and we are astonished at the vices of society, while the children suck them with milk. Here is an example which, as everyone can judge, belongs more to the rule than to the exception.
In a family of our acquaintance there is a four to five year old little girl of rare intelligence, but who has the little defects of spoiled children, that is to say, she is somewhat capricious, mournful, stubborn, and does not always say thank you when something is given to her, something that her parents are very keen to correct, because apart from these, they say she has a golden heart, a commonly used expression. Let us see how they go about removing these small spots and preserving the purity of gold.
One day they had brought a cake to the child, and as is usually the custom, they told her: "You will eat it if you are good; first lesson of greed. How many times a child is told at the table that she will not eat such a delicacy if she cries. "Do this, do that," they say, "and you will get a candy," or something else that the child may desire; and the child is constrained, not by reason, but in order to satisfy a sensual desire which is stimulated. It is still worse when not infrequently the child is told that her portion will be given to someone else; it is no longer gluttony alone that is at stake, but also envy; the child will do what is commanded, not only to have, but for someone else not to have. Want to give her a lesson of generosity? The child is told, "Give this fruit or this toy to this other child;” if the child refuses, one does not fail to add, to stimulate a good feeling in her: "I will give you another one”; so that the child decides to be generous only when she is sure of losing nothing.
One day we witnessed a very characteristic fact of that kind. It was a child of about two and half years that had been threatened by something similar, added by this: “We will give it to your little brother and you will have nothing.” To turn the threat real the put the piece on the brother’s plate that took the lesson seriously and ate the portion. Facing that the child blushed and it was not necessary to be the father or the mother to see the ray of rage and hatred in the little eyes. The seed was sown. Could it produce a good grain?
Let us go back to the girl that was mentioned earlier. Since she did not bother with the threat and knew from experience that it was rarely enforced this time they were firmer for they understood that it was necessary to tame the little personality and not wait for the acquisition of a bad habit with age. They said that it was necessary to form children at an early age, a very wise maxim, and to put that forward here is what they did: “I promise you”, the mom said, that if you don’t obey me tomorrow morning I will give your piece of cake to the first poor girl that comes around.” Said and done. This time they wanted to keep their promise and teach her a good lesson. Then, comes the next morning and they brought inside a little beggar and forced the daughter to take her by the hand and had her passing the cake to the poor child. They then praised her kindness. Here the result. The daughter said: “If I only knew that I would have eaten the cake yesterday.” Followed by a general applause for such a witty comment.
In fact the child had been given a strong lesson but of pure egotism that she will use on another occasion since now she knows the price of such a forced generosity. One does not know the fruits to be produced by such a seed when at a later age the child applies the teaching to more serious things than a piece of cake.
Does one know all the thoughts produced by the single event in the little head? After all that how can one expect a child not to be selfish when instead of exciting the pleasure of giving and to demonstrate the happiness of the one that receives the child is imposed sacrifice for punishment? Aren’t we inspiring aversion to the act of giving to the needy?
Another equally frequent custom is that of punishing a child by sending her to eat with the servants in the kitchen. The punishment is less in the exclusion of the table than in the humiliation of having to join the servants. The virus of sensuality, selfishness, pride, neglect towards the inferiors and all passions, in a word, that are considered the ulcers of humanity are then implanted.
One does need to be exceptionally good natured to resist to such influences produced in the most impressionable age in which one cannot find the counter weight of will-power or experience. Hence, however small the germ of bad passions is, and that it the more common place considering the nature of the Spirits incarnate on Earth, there is no way such a germ will not proliferate under those influences whereas it would be a matter of just observing its traces in order to curb them.
There is no doubt that it is the parents’ fault here but we must say that those frequently fail more out of ignorance than bad will. In many parents there is an undisputable carelessness but in many others there is good intention but the remedy, however, is either worthless or badly used.
Since parents are the first doctors of their children’s soul, they should be better educated not only with respect to their duties but also regarding the means for achieving them. It is not enough to the medical doctor to know that a cure is needed but how to proceed. Well, where can the parents find the proper means for such relevant task? A lot of instruction is given to mothers these days that have to go through a battery of tests but has anyone taught her how to prepare her kids morally? They are taught homemade recipes but have they been initiated into the governing issues of the youngsters’ hearts?
Parents are therefore left on their own. That is why they so frequently follow wrong paths. They then harvest the bitter fruits of their own inexperience from their children’s mistakes or misunderstood love whose blows are felt by the whole society. Considering that egotism and pride are knowingly the source of the majority of human miseries; that while those vices reign on Earth one cannot expect peace, charity or fraternity, then it is necessary to attack them in their embryonic state instead of waiting to have them grown up.
Can Spiritism remediate such a problem? We have no doubt and do not hesitate to say that Spiritism is the only one sufficiently powerful to stop that through its new point of view through which it allows parents to perceive their mission and responsibility; providing the knowledge about the source of innate qualities, good or bad; showing the action that can be exerted onto incarnate and discarnate Spirits; providing the unbreakable faith that sanctions the duties and finally moralizing the parents themselves. Spiritism already proves its efficacy by the more rational methods employed in the education of children in the truly Spiritist families. The horizons opened by Spiritism allow us to see things differently. Since its objective is the progress of humanity it will forcibly illuminate the serious problem of moral education, the first source of moralization of the masses.
One day people will understand that this side of education has its principles and rules in a true science, like in the intellectual education. Perhaps one day every mother will also have the obligation of knowing such rules like the attorney that requires the knowledge of law.
